D)I<C"K'

dance igloo cackle kaliedascope

???SECIURITY LEVEL!!!

do notr panic i repeats DO NOT PANIC georges futile attacks have been effectievly NULLED and he is now crying in k-mart bathroom ; in other news TARG STOCK go up 1 billion marks

we are all aware of the recent targ server exception error and in these troubled times we need resourceful and unbias info from the source well you in luck because DICK is all this and more.thuis said the question lingers ;

who is response for server deletion?

to answer this we must first create a list of all possible problems from highest probable to lowest priority because you maybe stupid i compiled the list for you (free of charges):

1. terrorst attack (george !??!? kevim bacon ??!!)
2. targ failing (never possible)
3. aprile fooled joke (IT IS NOT APRIL U MOLRON)
4. corruption among targ (only georege / or / idiot can belief thius)
999999. stupid idoit press red button on servere location and kill all website and targ die (highly unlikelys)

in order to gather more intellect and evidentce for the case i went to the crimescene... IMAEKS BEDROOME !?! here is eventd:

*doug bearch knockp*
imaek: laxtive is now available in power
doug: it is me imaek
imaek: rolf
doug: let me innnnnn
imaek: OK but take you hat off
doug: i am not wearing a hat
*imaek open door*

i entered the house and smell strange odours i do not know why maybe it was garlic bread? anyway i proceed to his bedroom but THERE IS OBSTACLE!@ what appeared to be clown shoe was in the way i tolsd this to imaek and he said he does not OWN CLOWNSHOE. i went to the bathroom and look under the sink i found toilet brush (resembles omege strangely) i picked up it can come in handy but it does not solve clownshoe problem; so i walk eastside to living room where picture is on ground for odd reason the pisture was shining like it stand out (must be sun) as i approach it is DIRTY so i clean with toilet brush and i see picture of THIS:

maybe george chohort? maybe winning lottery combonations? maybe subliminal advertise for COLGATE? regardless i continue to kitchen and find the answer to ALL PROBLEM it was car jack! i drag it to clownshoe and jacked it off the hallway and procedd to bedroom; when i arive terror was about to srtrike..

patental advisory NOT FOR FAINTED OF HEART
patental advisory NOT FOR FAINTED OF HEART
patental advisory NOT FOR FAINTED OF HEART
patental advisory NOT FOR FAINTED OF HEART

covering the entire ground was whte paste at first i thoughtr maybe imaek is that kind of guy but then upon further viewing i noticed this is colgates

it all made sense now and i knew what was to be deal with.. but then i was stumped like a tree with no where to go

luckily diggity (gr8 man) supplied me with exclusive info on suspects for the case,,,, and then i saw HIM

he was the man seeling clam chowder at the recycling plant;;; DO YOU SEE THE LINK? to the laymens you think "lol clam chowder" but DICK digs deeper and sees a greater understanding,,, that is,,,, clams chowder is white and SO IS COLGATES thuis man supplied colgate filled chowder cans to george to sabatoge the targing SERVERS!!! now that we have the supplier we need the sabotuer BUT THERE IS NO ONE TO BE FOUND

the next step is obviouss so i went to DICK boarder patrol

to see whow border policer let this colagtes smuggler in "this is who i was spoken to":

border police: i do not work for georgre
doug: lol i know this BTW do you know how someone smuggled colagtes in clam chowder into city .?.
black guy: there is no chance i would miss such things i am 1,1000,00,00 percents loyal to DICK
doug: then how is chowder get in .?.
knife man not suspiscious at all: simply it is not possiblre and never can pass flawlessly security border with no george secretspy agents at alll
doug: ok i will make sure you get a raise for gode job

as usual DICK security is 2 the maximum potentials. maybe there is secret teleproter device or underground tunnel ??? whatever it is i knew it was big deal THEN IT HIT ME imaek throw a picture at my head

it was the one i clean with toilet brush:

my thoughts were confirmend and i proceeded to excersize all actions to catch these evil doers UNTIL I GOT PHONE CALLED THAT VARY MOMENT:

doug: who is thuis .?.
mystery voice: lets just say i am liking the bacon
doug: what havfe you done you sonofabitch
mystery voice: i am you bacon distributer where you want bacon shipped
doug: lol sorry drop them off at myy house
bacon man: ops i forget u address what is it so i can ship bombacon
doug: 15 cresent ave 14 dick street lane , dick city , targville
pig inside distrobution person: k bye

just then i remembers what my bacon package send to house man looked like:

i thought... what does border man,, picturre in imakes house ,, and bacon man have in common....;

 

 

they alls look stupid~!

it was in the bag now and i am not talking about drugs. becauser of the DICK ACT (gr8 rendition of patriot act georgeb bunch uses, he let me use patriotr act as copy lol) i arrested the said men without trial and they are now in death row. alas, DICK is safe and georgres is fail again!

THERE you hAVE IT D%I:C?K} exclusivew! next week we cover following storys of the latest beginnings. be sure to check the other document this week was DICK DOUBLE ACTION week,,, 2 dickfor price of 1 (but priceof none really because dick is free new source (unless we sellout and charge moneys (but this never will happene*)))!

*could happen

disclaimer you cannot read this site or i will punch you or quite possibly kick you using any martierla here is liiegal and you will be charged to full extents ggiven you do not suckwhich is yes if you are not doug beahc so do not click ok bye